How To Accidentally Love Life


The girls are playing Barbies. Wish we had those Barbie 2.0’s, but alas, we only have 5 years old “will probably cause body image issues” Barbies. Future therapy aside, yes, it’s as hilarious as you know my girls to be.

Over the years I’ve learned, you can’t make kids have imaginary play, you can only give them the margin to find those moments on their own.  To the uninformed viewer, this might be mistaken for unapologetically selfish, alone time for mom (me), where I can be found sipping coffee on the couch within convenient overhearing distance from the bedroom to whence the kids have been banished for “play time,” but to those leaning toward this view:

  1. all the not-moms can take a hike (with all due respect)
  2. critical moms probably have mommy guilt over something that needs be dealt with (again, respect, all the things)

When put into the context of our jam-packed Saturday through Wednesday, I think the stumbled upon arrangement just makes sense:

  • soccer practices/games
  • taekwondo
  • school work
  • weekend fun (parties, adventures, visitors)
  • cleaning day (all skate for changing/washing sheets, dusting, mopping, etc)
  • weekly grocery trip
  • cooking prep (for the week)
  • classes
  • other

I keep thinking Thursdays will be the day we make use of our family membership to Cal Academy, but we seem to always end up just staying home and “doing nothing.”

Essentially, the moral of this story is quite simple: if by the mercy of the schedule gods you find yourself “doing nothing” and loving it, and especially overhearing brilliant Barbie imaginary play, for the LOVE, hug, grasp, lounge alllllll over it, AND use the brain power for doing it on purpose, again. I’m calling it “project: do nothing,” but as this blog post is the proof, building in this time allows space for creativity, joy, rest, coffee, so, obvi: good stuff.

In other words, you don’t have to schedule the “good stuff” per say, you should leave blank space to give your mind, heart, and body a chance to intuitively fill in unanticipated needs. I think you’ll be happy to find yourself writing or just reflecting over a cup of coffee while listening to happy kid noises (you know, when they aren’t trying to kill each other).

Roenne, aka “Cinderella” Barbie: blah blah blah (whiny, complaining noises)

Arden, Barbie name unknown: STOP! (Pause) uh, Cinderella, I love you, but please don’t do that anymore

R: blah blah blah (more of the same whining)

A: I’m sorry, but if you don’t stop that I have to give you a spanking

I find it fascinating that Barbie Roenne is acting out and Barbie Arden is adulting. Jr psychologist thoughts: I think they are projecting what they want most: Roenne freedom to behave badly (instead of being responsible), and Arden wants to be grown up.

Did you notice that the Barbies are naked? I don’t even know.

And so ends this not so professional analysis of doing nothing for all the somethings.